A Dirty Job: A Novel by Christopher Moore

By Christopher Moore

Charlie Asher is general man with an ordinary existence, married to a vivid and beautiful girl who really loves him for his normalcy. They're even approximately to have their first baby. certain, Charlie's doing okay—until humans begin shedding useless round him, and far and wide he is going a dismal presence whispers to him from less than the streets. Charlie Asher, it kind of feels, has been recruited for a brand new place: as loss of life.

It's a filthy task. yet, howdy! Somebody's gotta do it.

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Sample text

He liked the ex-cop in spite of his awkwardness. Ray was basically a good guy, kindhearted and loyal, hardworking and punctual, but most important, Ray was losing his hair faster than Charlie. Ray sighed. “Maybe I should search for another Web site. ” Charlie read down the page a little. “This woman has a master’s degree in English lit from Cambridge, Ray. And look at her. She’s gorgeous. And nineteen. ” “Hey, wait a minute. ” “No she’s not. ” Ray spun on the stool as if Charlie had poked him in the ear with a pencil.

A Beta Male is trustworthy: your girlfriend is generally in safe hands with a Beta Male friend, unless, of course, she is a complete slut. ) And while the Beta Male has the potential to be a great husband and father, the skills still need to be learned. So, for the next few weeks, Charlie did little but care for the tiny stranger in his house. She was an alien, really—a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine— and he didn’t understand anything about her species. But as he tended to her, talked to her, lost a lot of sleep over her, bathed her, watched her nap, and admonished her for the disgusting substances that oozed and urped out of her, he started to fall in love.

The cabinet probably had its own air-conditioning unit to control the humidity, but that wasn’t what Charlie was noticing. Even under the recessed fluorescent light inside the cabinet, one of the coats was clearly glowing red and pulsating. He turned back to Mainheart slowly, trying not to overreact, not sure, in fact, what would constitute an overreaction in this case, so he tried to sound calm, but not willing to take any shit. “Mr. ” 50 Christopher moore “I mean,” Charlie said, “why, of all the used-clothing dealers in the Bay Area, did you decide to call me?

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